Ky
Stupid is as stupid does
For Flight, from F365 
What Is The Point Of Dirk Kuyt?
Now, before hoards of Liverpool fans get themselves in a lather over this, I should explain myself. I am not saying that Kuyt is a rubbish footballer. There are plenty of rubbish footballers in the Premier League. Some of them are even team-mates of Kuyt. My point is that I don't think that he's a footballer at all. Let's examine the evidence.
He undeniably runs around a hell of a lot (normally unusually slowly given all the energy expended) and he seems to have a hole in the top of his head out of which sweat continuously pours, a la Carlos Puyol. He also jumps up and down a lot and sometimes when he does so the ball hits his head and goes in various directions. He chases the ball with admirable eagerness, but then again if you played ten footballers and a very giddy golden retriever on a football team the dog would also chase the ball with eagerness.
It's when the ball is at or near Kuyt's feet that you begin to suspect that the Trades Descriptions people should be called in and that, rather than being a footballer, he is instead an example of just how far you can get on sheer enthusiasm.
Seeing him on the same pitch as technically-proficient players like Fabregas, Hleb and Rosicky was both hilarious and slightly worrying. I can only assume that representatives from the nation that brought us Total Football are working tirelessly to revoke his citizenship. If anyone can refute this without using the expression 'terrific work rate' or quoting statistics from the Mateja-Kezman-is-better-than-Pele Memorial League, I will take my hat off to them.
J Colgan (not an Arsenal fan, just someone who likes his footballers to be footballers), Macedonia
What Is The Point Of Dirk Kuyt?
Now, before hoards of Liverpool fans get themselves in a lather over this, I should explain myself. I am not saying that Kuyt is a rubbish footballer. There are plenty of rubbish footballers in the Premier League. Some of them are even team-mates of Kuyt. My point is that I don't think that he's a footballer at all. Let's examine the evidence.
He undeniably runs around a hell of a lot (normally unusually slowly given all the energy expended) and he seems to have a hole in the top of his head out of which sweat continuously pours, a la Carlos Puyol. He also jumps up and down a lot and sometimes when he does so the ball hits his head and goes in various directions. He chases the ball with admirable eagerness, but then again if you played ten footballers and a very giddy golden retriever on a football team the dog would also chase the ball with eagerness.
It's when the ball is at or near Kuyt's feet that you begin to suspect that the Trades Descriptions people should be called in and that, rather than being a footballer, he is instead an example of just how far you can get on sheer enthusiasm.
Seeing him on the same pitch as technically-proficient players like Fabregas, Hleb and Rosicky was both hilarious and slightly worrying. I can only assume that representatives from the nation that brought us Total Football are working tirelessly to revoke his citizenship. If anyone can refute this without using the expression 'terrific work rate' or quoting statistics from the Mateja-Kezman-is-better-than-Pele Memorial League, I will take my hat off to them.
J Colgan (not an Arsenal fan, just someone who likes his footballers to be footballers), Macedonia
